We all have those guilty pleasures. Most of them in my group of friends involve tv shows. Spongebob Squarepants, Will and Grace, Golden Girls….Hoarders. Hoarders is a guilty pleasure of mine. I hate the show because I find it to be completely repulsive that people could ever let things get that bad. But I am completely enthralled that people have LET THINGS GET THAT BAD!
It’s like that accident on the side of the road. We all take a peek and slow down when we drive by, hoping that we will catch a glimpse of a dead body or a decapitated head. Don’t shoot me that sidelong glance, I’m just saying what everybody knows is what they are truly thinking when they slow down and look. I don’t know what it is, but we seem to seek after pain.
When I was in the shower tonight, I got to thinking about love. I’ve been really stressed the last week or so thinking about and starting student teaching, the holidays ending, friends going back home, life resuming to the normal sounds of labor and loss of time. And then I realized how many people in my life that make me happy to be alive.
Whenever I’m depressed or upset or dreading something, I’ve found that there are a handful of people and events that get me through, that keep me holding my head high and giving it my all to get through it, knowing that my payoff is I get to be with them again soon.
And I thought to myself, how many of these people actually know their importance in my life? Have I told them? Or have I just assumed they know? And that’s when I decided that our love should not be like an episode of hoarders. Why keep our love piled up inside, stuck away on shelves, hidden and neglected under beds and in closets? What good is all of this love doing for us in the corner of the living room underneath a pile of clothes and magazines that we don’t even know exist there?
So this post is strictly to say: I love you. Each one of you is important to me in a way that is completely unique. I know that I don’t always say it, and I realize that sometimes I don’t have the answers and I can act like a complete jerk. But I love you. And sometimes, those are the three saddest words I can say to you, because I think about being departed from you at some point in my life for some period of time, and it throws me into a deep depression.
You are my heart and my soul and my strength. Everyday I am alive, I am thankful, and it has a lot to do with each and every one of you. Thank you for being my comfort when I was hurt. Thank you for watching over me when I’m sick. Thank you for being home when I’ve had a bad day or am stressed. Thank you for listening when you don’t want to. Thank you for being exactly who you are. I love you now, I’ve loved you before, and I’ll love you until the breath is taken from my lungs.
Paul, Christina, Holly, Lindsey, Mom, Dad, Sarah, Margrit, Brooke.
<3
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