We just left the Jury's Inn and are en route to the airport. I am happy to be going home only to see my friends and stop living out of a suitcase. But I will miss the girls and I will miss this part of my life. I certainly hope to be back here as a resident someday, but I'm going to keep any progress I make on that to myself until I know what is happening in the fall. Lots of decisions to make and consider.
We got through security and shopped a bit and are now sitting down to breakfast at The Chocolate Lounge. I'm going to have my last authentic Bailey's Irish Coffee this morning sadly. It was a great trip and journey here. And I will truly miss it. Yet so thankful that I got to experience it at all.
We've boarded the plane to New York. From Dublin back to America. I'm officially leaving the UK. How strange it is that you can spend a bit in another country and feel like one of the citizens by the time you leave.
Thankfully the international flights have personal tv's in every seat. I'm watching this movie called....well I can't remember, but it is a documentary about a facebook friendship that was formed. It is really interesting actually. With a GREAT surprise twist!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Tramore, Avoca, Glendalough, and Dublin-May 19
We're traveling from Tramore to Avoca via the countryside. There just seems to be no end to the beauty of this country. In between the main cities is just a lot of fresh, green, beautiful land. It is unlike anything I've ever experienced, and I can't seem to get enough of it.
Hey Chase, I just passed a castle that is owned by the Fitzgerald family :) And a bar in Allymont, Ireland, near Dublin, called Fitzgerald's :)
We stopped off in Avoca to see the oldest wool weaving store in Ireland. It was really fascinating to see the work of making throws and scarves in progress. It isn't really a complicated process to do the actual weaving because it is done by machines, but it takes an entire day to make one throw because of the intricacy of the patterns and setting them all up in the right locations and such. I bought some homemade marmalades from the shop for Jim and Audrey.
We are all a little bit excited because we are going to end up in Dublin this afternoon around 4pm, and the Queen is in Dublin this week. It will be exciting, but it will be massively packed and crazy, as well. Especially since we are staying in the center of the city amidst all the action and excitement! Our stop that is next though is Glendalough. I'm not quite sure what we are doing there, other than having lunch, so I will update you once I've found out or have actually done it!
We are driving through mountainous and treelined streets. Canopy trees everywhere. It is so spectacular! And the roads are winding and hilly and just a lot of fun to drive on. It reminded me of North Carolina in ßsthe mountains where we used to stay in the summers and where we used to go down Sliding Rock.
Glendalough was the location of a mountainous and massive graveyard, historic hotel, and old church and tower ruins. I could have spent an entire day there, it was that incredible!
We are now back in Dublin and I'm thankful to be here again because we didn't get much time here when we were here at the beginning of the trip so we have the whole afternoon and night here to explore and get another Insomnia coffee!
MMStreets right in front of our hotel are shut down which is annoying but awesome because the Queen is going to be just a couple buildings down from our hotel tonight!
The four of us are sitting downstairs at The Jury's Inn hotel downtown Dublin in the lounge having some bruschetta and a bailey's coffee. This country has the friendliest people I've ever met! A group of girls walked by the window and saw me and all smiled and waved to me. I don't recall ever being somewhere that has felt like such a loving, happy, friendly country. It really is a treat.
Walking around town and spotted a seal chillin in the harbor!
In Ireland, we have street performers like in most big cities. The difference? They play accordians.
The queen is coming and it is like walking in NYC on New Year's Eve! This is fantastic! It's actually a really cool event in history because it is the first time that an English Monarch has ever come to the Republic of Eire, or Ireland. This is serious stuff. There are even snipers on the rooftops, including my hotel roof, just in case. I always knew I'd be part of history.
We are having dinner and drinks at Murray's Pub now. A lovely little place, and we're finally going to have our lamb! Can't wait! On our journey's this afternoon in Dublin, I finally got a coffee cup with my ancestor's name and history on it, O'Donnell. I was thrilled! But sad this is our last night in Ireland! I don't want to go back to America and to work!
That was the best meal I could have had on my last night here. Stuffed pork chop, lamb shank, bangers and mashed, and mashed peas. With a gin and tonic. Delicious. What a perfect end to one hell of a trip! Ireland, I love you, I thank you, and I'm going to do my damndest to be here soon!
Walking down the streets of Dublin back to our hotel and I almost had a moment because a girl walking down the street looked exactly 100% like Kristen and I was gonna scream and shout for joy! But it was just a wannabe
We had a last night with the girls down in the bar. Lots of laughing and drinks and just fun. I took a Cork Dry Gin glass from the bar with me as a souvenir because none of the glasses that they sell say the County names on them. Then we went for a walk downtown but it was so cold that we came back in about 10 minutes and went to bed around midnight since we had to wake up so early.
Hey Chase, I just passed a castle that is owned by the Fitzgerald family :) And a bar in Allymont, Ireland, near Dublin, called Fitzgerald's :)
We stopped off in Avoca to see the oldest wool weaving store in Ireland. It was really fascinating to see the work of making throws and scarves in progress. It isn't really a complicated process to do the actual weaving because it is done by machines, but it takes an entire day to make one throw because of the intricacy of the patterns and setting them all up in the right locations and such. I bought some homemade marmalades from the shop for Jim and Audrey.
We are all a little bit excited because we are going to end up in Dublin this afternoon around 4pm, and the Queen is in Dublin this week. It will be exciting, but it will be massively packed and crazy, as well. Especially since we are staying in the center of the city amidst all the action and excitement! Our stop that is next though is Glendalough. I'm not quite sure what we are doing there, other than having lunch, so I will update you once I've found out or have actually done it!
We are driving through mountainous and treelined streets. Canopy trees everywhere. It is so spectacular! And the roads are winding and hilly and just a lot of fun to drive on. It reminded me of North Carolina in ßsthe mountains where we used to stay in the summers and where we used to go down Sliding Rock.
Glendalough was the location of a mountainous and massive graveyard, historic hotel, and old church and tower ruins. I could have spent an entire day there, it was that incredible!
We are now back in Dublin and I'm thankful to be here again because we didn't get much time here when we were here at the beginning of the trip so we have the whole afternoon and night here to explore and get another Insomnia coffee!
MMStreets right in front of our hotel are shut down which is annoying but awesome because the Queen is going to be just a couple buildings down from our hotel tonight!
The four of us are sitting downstairs at The Jury's Inn hotel downtown Dublin in the lounge having some bruschetta and a bailey's coffee. This country has the friendliest people I've ever met! A group of girls walked by the window and saw me and all smiled and waved to me. I don't recall ever being somewhere that has felt like such a loving, happy, friendly country. It really is a treat.
Walking around town and spotted a seal chillin in the harbor!
In Ireland, we have street performers like in most big cities. The difference? They play accordians.
The queen is coming and it is like walking in NYC on New Year's Eve! This is fantastic! It's actually a really cool event in history because it is the first time that an English Monarch has ever come to the Republic of Eire, or Ireland. This is serious stuff. There are even snipers on the rooftops, including my hotel roof, just in case. I always knew I'd be part of history.
We are having dinner and drinks at Murray's Pub now. A lovely little place, and we're finally going to have our lamb! Can't wait! On our journey's this afternoon in Dublin, I finally got a coffee cup with my ancestor's name and history on it, O'Donnell. I was thrilled! But sad this is our last night in Ireland! I don't want to go back to America and to work!
That was the best meal I could have had on my last night here. Stuffed pork chop, lamb shank, bangers and mashed, and mashed peas. With a gin and tonic. Delicious. What a perfect end to one hell of a trip! Ireland, I love you, I thank you, and I'm going to do my damndest to be here soon!
Walking down the streets of Dublin back to our hotel and I almost had a moment because a girl walking down the street looked exactly 100% like Kristen and I was gonna scream and shout for joy! But it was just a wannabe
We had a last night with the girls down in the bar. Lots of laughing and drinks and just fun. I took a Cork Dry Gin glass from the bar with me as a souvenir because none of the glasses that they sell say the County names on them. Then we went for a walk downtown but it was so cold that we came back in about 10 minutes and went to bed around midnight since we had to wake up so early.
Killarney, Blarney Castle, Waterford, and Tramore-May 18
Our first stop today is Blarney. We'll be kissing the Blarney Stone and doing some shopping at the original wool store that is so famous here. It was about a 1.5 hour long drive, but thank goodness we're sitting next to the funny girls in the bus. They are the younger version of The Golden Girls. This trip will be missed in large part because of these girls. We'll be arriving in 5 minutes, so I will update when we've finished.
Well, we finished the Blarney Castle. I didn't kiss the Blarney Stone. I'm already Irish, so I have the gift of the gab and luck without having to kiss the germ ridden stone. The castle and garden grounds are absolutely breathtaking. Afterwards, I finished my shopping! Got myself a new sling bag for only €5, too! Now we're having some Bailey's Coffee at the pub. Skipping lunch I suppose as we have to be back at the bus in 20 mins!
I'm going through Kristen's town right now: Middleton. The home of Jameson whisky!
We went to Waterford and had a tour of the work done at Waterford Crystals. It was actually really interesting because we got to see just how much work it takes to make just one crystal vase. Pretty large amount of work! We got to our hotel, The Majestic, in Tramore at about 4:15 and we are already back on the bus to Waterford for a pub tour on the coast of the Atlantic, or Celtic Sea. I am not a huge fan of Guinness but I'm going to have some at the pub because I am Irish and I am in Ireland at a pub that is 300 years old, so I am inclined to do so.
I love my pub guy. He's playing us authentic Irish music while we drink. I swear to God this is the best trip of my life. I've never felt more accepted or more at home than I do here. I can honestly say that I know for sure I am Irish now because I am so similar to these people! We laugh constantly and have fun always and love to drink! That's me! I want to be here, part of this life! One of the main aspects I love about my culture is the music..no matter what, these people love music and drinks. And it is passionate across their faces, and I can't help but appreciate and respect and love that.
Thoughts of my grandma again when singing Irish Eyes at the pub..she used to sing that to me all the time...
I just laughed for 5 mins without stopping because the Asian lady on our tour got on the bus and told us she was drunk, and a really heavy guy at the pub was outside holding up the pub. Great night!
We just finished another 3 course meal and enjoyed our coffee. Paul and I went down to the hotel pub for some drinks (Shandi for me, ginger ale for Paul) with the girls. That was a lot of laughs and fun, we really bonded with these girls and I expect to take a trip to Brisbane, Australia sometime because one of the girls offered for me to stay in her huge spare bedroom if I ever visit or if I want to move and work and live there. I will definitely take her up on that!
I'm looking out the window looking at the Celtic Sea and the island of Dundore behind it and realizing...I am incredibly blessed to be experiencing this, and I hope that one day I will call this place home.
Update: I am becoming a fan of Guinness more each day :) But I only like it here, not in the states. It tastes so much better here for some reason.
Well, we finished the Blarney Castle. I didn't kiss the Blarney Stone. I'm already Irish, so I have the gift of the gab and luck without having to kiss the germ ridden stone. The castle and garden grounds are absolutely breathtaking. Afterwards, I finished my shopping! Got myself a new sling bag for only €5, too! Now we're having some Bailey's Coffee at the pub. Skipping lunch I suppose as we have to be back at the bus in 20 mins!
I'm going through Kristen's town right now: Middleton. The home of Jameson whisky!
We went to Waterford and had a tour of the work done at Waterford Crystals. It was actually really interesting because we got to see just how much work it takes to make just one crystal vase. Pretty large amount of work! We got to our hotel, The Majestic, in Tramore at about 4:15 and we are already back on the bus to Waterford for a pub tour on the coast of the Atlantic, or Celtic Sea. I am not a huge fan of Guinness but I'm going to have some at the pub because I am Irish and I am in Ireland at a pub that is 300 years old, so I am inclined to do so.
I love my pub guy. He's playing us authentic Irish music while we drink. I swear to God this is the best trip of my life. I've never felt more accepted or more at home than I do here. I can honestly say that I know for sure I am Irish now because I am so similar to these people! We laugh constantly and have fun always and love to drink! That's me! I want to be here, part of this life! One of the main aspects I love about my culture is the music..no matter what, these people love music and drinks. And it is passionate across their faces, and I can't help but appreciate and respect and love that.
Thoughts of my grandma again when singing Irish Eyes at the pub..she used to sing that to me all the time...
I just laughed for 5 mins without stopping because the Asian lady on our tour got on the bus and told us she was drunk, and a really heavy guy at the pub was outside holding up the pub. Great night!
We just finished another 3 course meal and enjoyed our coffee. Paul and I went down to the hotel pub for some drinks (Shandi for me, ginger ale for Paul) with the girls. That was a lot of laughs and fun, we really bonded with these girls and I expect to take a trip to Brisbane, Australia sometime because one of the girls offered for me to stay in her huge spare bedroom if I ever visit or if I want to move and work and live there. I will definitely take her up on that!
I'm looking out the window looking at the Celtic Sea and the island of Dundore behind it and realizing...I am incredibly blessed to be experiencing this, and I hope that one day I will call this place home.
Update: I am becoming a fan of Guinness more each day :) But I only like it here, not in the states. It tastes so much better here for some reason.
Ring of Kerry-May 17
We just finished breakfast and are on the bus again. Today isn't a long driving day as we are staying in the town of Killarney for another day, but we will be driving 100 miles around the Ring of Kerry, which is a panoramic trip along the coast, so that's exciting! Our first stop is a cathedral, though. And this little sidenote for Kristen and Sarah: lots of Yankee's fans here!
While we're driving, I just need to take some time to write out my thoughts. They're beginning to overcome my mind and this is my therapy. I have lots of feelings, ideas, and emotions about Ireland and my future. I'm well aware that I have wanted to move to almost every place I've visited. And I had a reason for wanting to move to each place. I was accepted to colleges in Chicago and Rochester, and I wanted to finish schooling there because I hated FAU so much. But God always quieted my heart and helped me to make the right decision, the decision He wanted me to make. And I'm very thankful for that leading He gave me. I made amazing friends, strengthened existing friendships, spent a year living and enjoying life with those people, growing in my love for God, and reopening my love for teaching. So I never regret the decisions that were made.
With Ireland, I have a desire to work and live here. It isn't just because it is a new place and I want to run. I don't want to run anymore. God has made my heart content in Florida, and if I ever am to leave, it will be hard to do so. But my heart is very adventurous. It always has been, and I feel it always will be. It isn't a bad thing, but it is hard to deal with when you want to be everywhere and do everything all the time. It makes the daily lives we lead very hard.
But getting back to Ireland..I would love to live and work here. I feel a sense of belonging here. The people are kind and funny and happy. I fit in with them, and it makes me feel very welcome. However, I've been told that there aren't many teaching opportunities here. And that poses a problem, because I think to myself and wonder...should I move here and get a decent paying job that might not deal with children? Do I get an au pair or nanny type job so I can have a place to live, work with children, and still make some money? Or do I try to work in the tourist industry here for a year before starting a teaching job in the states, or seeing if more teaching jobs are available here the next year and learn Irish while I'm working and living here? Or do I try and get a teaching job in Scotland or London since they are hiring lots of teachers, and it is almost the same as Ireland and very close so I can still visit often? Or, finally, do I just stay in the states and teach and then work in Ireland during the summers?
Did I go to school and graduate with my BA in Education just to be a nanny? Or just because I graduated with my BA in Education, does that mean that working with kids and loving them and helping them in any way isn't just as good as being a teacher, even if I don't make as much money? When does it stop being about money and start being about exploring everything the world has to offer and giving back as much as possible?
I fear that if I don't satisfy my adventurous spirit that I will always have regrets. I will always wonder what if I just went for it instead of just accepting a teaching job because it was the logical thing to do? Won't there always be teaching jobs? Can't I start any year? Can't I work a regular job and tutor or do aftercare while getting my masters somewhere else and then beginning? I have my whole life to teach and hold one job. Why not make the most of my life while I have the desire and ability to?
Those are some of the thoughts I have mulling around in my head. I realize that anyone reading this that knows me will most likely assume I just want to move and am willing to go anywhere to get out of Florida. And to an extent, that's true. I do want to get out of Florida. I don't want to live and work in the same place I was born and raised in. It isn't because I hate Florida, because I truly have come to love it. But I'm not content with never experiencing another way of life. I'm not content to turn down opportunities out of fear. I have in the past, but those were the right decisions to make I feel. All of this weighs very heavy on my heart, and I will most certainly be bringing it in prayer to my Jesus daily. And that is a comfort, to know God cares enough about me to listen and guide me. But it is patience, and that's not my strong suit. I feel, though, that if I haven't been presented with a job opportunity that is too good to turn down in the states by mid-July that it makes sense to try something here. I don't want to just sub and tutor for another year when I could be doing something similar in another country. And it is my goal to get certified internationally and in other areas while here, too. This isn't just a joy ride, this is life.
We made our first stop on the Ring of Kerry to the birthplace of O'Connell. He was a very important figure in this part of Ireland, and there is even a massive cathedral that was built to remember and honor him. It is called O'Connell Cathedral. Its made out of granite and stained glass and is just beautiful. This town also has a unique obsession with Charlie Chaplin. I took a picture :)
We have reached the mountains. I can tell because it is foggy everywhere. It is so beautiful. This type of weather really suits me. I love being surrounded in mist. It reminds me of Jesus, because you can see it and feel the moisture of it, but once you walk to it, it disappears. Yet you still know it is there, even when you can only feel it.
Breaking news: Upon leaving our restaurant in the mountains, we were informed that the Queen has arrived in Dublin! Exciting things happening!
We're driving through a long, forest canopied winding road right now through Killarney National Park. It certainly outshines the one on A1A in Florida :)
We're on a jaunting cart ride through Killarney. A horse and buggy ride. Our horse's name is Patty. This is the way to travel on vacation!
We were able to spend about an hour at the hotel just watching tv before leaving for our excursion tonight. We are back on the bus now, awaiting our ever late tour guide, Henry. Must be Irish. Although I'm not entirely sure that the Irish are known for running late, but I know I am. We are on our way to some folk dance show and dinner theater something-or-other. I have no idea, but it sounds like it is going to be a good time.
To backtrack to my earlier thoughts, I've been thinking about just applying all over, including Scotland and Britain, for teaching jobs. Whatever God presents before me is what is meant for me. I'm not going to give up easily though, yet I am not going to just accept a dead end job in order to live in another location, either. I'm going to live adventurously one way or another!
We just had dinner at the Carlton, a very lovely four star hotel down the road. My meal consisted of: sliced pineapple with apple strips and brown cinnamon cider drizzled on top, spinach and ricotta ravioli, cheesecake, and coffee with two lumps of brown sugar cubes. Delicious! The food here has been so wonderful! It will be hard to go back to my boring meals!
Awesome show at the Siamsa Tire! It was an interpretive river dance musical with just amazing music and singing! Really incredible and powerful performance, I was very impressed! The music was very minor chord sounding, which is always a plus in my book! Goodnight! My day starts at 6:30am tomorrow!
Ennis, Adare, Dingle Peninsula, Killarney-May 16
I woke up feeling sick today. I think it was a combination of castle wine and Bulmer's cider at the hotel pub. Oh well, it appears to be wearing off at least, and all we're doing right now is driving so I have time to just sit still and let it run it's course. Hoping to make a speedy recovery before we have to get off in Adare.
We spent some time in Adare and it is a quaint little city with beauty abounding in every direction. Thatched roofed houses and beautiful flowers and greenery make this city a true Irish town. I bought some items for the folks back home, complete with Irish Whisky and Mead. I finally got myself a ring and I'm so thrilled about it! And my dad got some O'Donnell coasters that outline our heritage. My great grandmother O'Donnell was a family of Lords of Donegal! Royalty we come from!
We are having lunch in Dingle at Harrington's Fish Restaurant. This is a beautiful port city. We've got about 2.5 hours here today, so we can finally finish our shopping and not have to rush around!
Walking around Dingle, we ran into a little baby boy who reached out for me and then started waving and smiling. He was so adorable. I brought him back with me, so I have a son now, fyi.
Wow! The Dingle Penisula, also known as Slea Head, was spectacular! Just stretches of mountains, cliffs, oceans, farmland, sheep, and green as far as the eyes can see! We were driving this huge bus along the cliffs that could barely fit us on it when we had to start reversing so we could let a car go by...what a rush that was! Death at every turn!
We finished the night with another 4 course meal and then a walk downtown and into some shops. I broke a coffee cup, so I was charged half price for it. Not too bad! Then we had a drink in the pub and went to bed. Another successful day!
We spent some time in Adare and it is a quaint little city with beauty abounding in every direction. Thatched roofed houses and beautiful flowers and greenery make this city a true Irish town. I bought some items for the folks back home, complete with Irish Whisky and Mead. I finally got myself a ring and I'm so thrilled about it! And my dad got some O'Donnell coasters that outline our heritage. My great grandmother O'Donnell was a family of Lords of Donegal! Royalty we come from!
We are having lunch in Dingle at Harrington's Fish Restaurant. This is a beautiful port city. We've got about 2.5 hours here today, so we can finally finish our shopping and not have to rush around!
Walking around Dingle, we ran into a little baby boy who reached out for me and then started waving and smiling. He was so adorable. I brought him back with me, so I have a son now, fyi.
Wow! The Dingle Penisula, also known as Slea Head, was spectacular! Just stretches of mountains, cliffs, oceans, farmland, sheep, and green as far as the eyes can see! We were driving this huge bus along the cliffs that could barely fit us on it when we had to start reversing so we could let a car go by...what a rush that was! Death at every turn!
We finished the night with another 4 course meal and then a walk downtown and into some shops. I broke a coffee cup, so I was charged half price for it. Not too bad! Then we had a drink in the pub and went to bed. Another successful day!
Knock, Galway, Cliffs of Moher, and Ennis-May 15
We're beginning our trip today traveling from Sligo to the city of Knock. It is currently grey and drizzling, which apparently is the perfect weather for visiting Knock. I'll see what that means in about an hour when we arrive.
Well, Knock was just as we expected: Not much. I mean to say that compared to the other locations we've visited over the last 4 days, it is the least desirable place we've been yet. Every single area of Ireland is beautiful in some way. However, this town just doesn't have much charm or appeal. And it was also Sunday, so it was rather dead.
We have returned to the bus and I believe we are on our way to Galway next. I believe in Galway we are going to be having lunch and just exploring and shopping a bit. It is told to be a rather quaint and interesting town, so I'm thrilled to see it. Also, as most of the places we have been the past few days have only taken pounds and silver/pence as currency, I would really like to finally have the opportunity to begin some gift shopping so as not to leave it all to the last minute. That's when you end up bringing back foreign candy and key chains and post cards for your friends.
We are in Galway, written Gaillimh in Irish. It appears that this town has a bit older style of homes, complete with thatched roofs, which I find to be incredibly interesting.
We're in Galway and our mission is to find the ring. This is the area in which it originated. Finding one for all the girls and ourselves. And we were just called lads and told that this is our type of town. Young and trendy and fun. Adding it to my list.
I managed to pick up some gifts for a few people at this little shop in Galway, and I'm going to check out a shop on the way back to the bus after lunch if time permits. If not, we will be in Killarney for 2 days so I should have some time at that point to get most of the gifts covered. Currently, we're down in a street level pastry shop having coffee and soup. It is very cute, complete with a small fire. It was established in 1872. O' Griofa in Irish.
We were walking back to the bus and came across a street musician. I think that is my favorite aspect of city life. These musicians are almost always really talented and genuine. They're always fun to watch. If I can access the internet tonight I will post the quick vid I took of him singing Green Day.
We are in much more of the mountainous regions of Ireland today. We've seen some cliffs and lots of ocean and city, but now we're into the towns that have virtually been almost untouched for the last 10,000 years. It is a lot more desolate out here with just a few small homes dotting the land. There are extremely high mountains that reach up past the clouds, and there are rocks covering the land, with old stone walls all around. It is really incredible because it divides the land up into all types of square plots of land everywhere. Truly a unique sight for those of us in America that are used to a concrete jungle with very little land around.
The cliffs of Moher are an indescribable sight to see. You can only witness it to understand the beauty of it. I've said that a lot about Ireland, but it's true. Kristen told me before I left that I needed to be prepared to be changed after visiting Ireland, and I completely understand now what she meant. Ireland is a place of such beauty and peace, nature, preservation, and joy. It doesn't make you feel like you are in the middle of nowhere like deliverance does. It makes you feel like one with nature. And yet it provides you with city life and excitement and pubs, as well. I truly feel like this is home to me. I can feel in my heart that this is my heritage. And it does change you.
Durty Nelley's is at the entrance to the Bunratty Castle entrance, which we were told is one of the oldest pubs in all of Ireland. Hopefully we get to stop by on our way out of the castle dinner we're going to tonight! Walking off of the bus, the first thing you notice is the smell of peet smoke coming from the castle. What a wonderful aroma! This is going to be excellent!
I can't even explain how amazing of a time I am having here! I'm eating in a castle with entertainment and all the food. We eat our soup without spoons, singing Irish Eyes...God I love this place!
I could live here forever! There is a never ending supply of smiles, drinks, history, and fun! This is one of the best days yet! I love my heritage! I love these people! And Mead wine is delicious! Wine with a bit of honey! I think I would get any job offered here just to be able to be a part of this!
My parents just fed each other two spoonfuls of dessert. Too much wine tonight. Again. I love this country.
Wow, what an amazing night! There was good food, good music, good acting, and lots of alcohol! All of the things I like most! And I spoke with my waitress who had just graduated with a degree in education, as well! The sad part is that there are about 40 teaching jobs in all of Ireland, and just in her class, 3,000 people graduated. This doesn't look promising, but she gave me her bosses' number for a job at the Bunratty Castle, and told me they are hiring a lot of teachers in Scotland and London so at the very least, I could live in Ireland and have a really fun job during summers! What a great night!! And I've had a bit to drink of course and made it silly with a group of the ladies on tour!
Well, Knock was just as we expected: Not much. I mean to say that compared to the other locations we've visited over the last 4 days, it is the least desirable place we've been yet. Every single area of Ireland is beautiful in some way. However, this town just doesn't have much charm or appeal. And it was also Sunday, so it was rather dead.
We have returned to the bus and I believe we are on our way to Galway next. I believe in Galway we are going to be having lunch and just exploring and shopping a bit. It is told to be a rather quaint and interesting town, so I'm thrilled to see it. Also, as most of the places we have been the past few days have only taken pounds and silver/pence as currency, I would really like to finally have the opportunity to begin some gift shopping so as not to leave it all to the last minute. That's when you end up bringing back foreign candy and key chains and post cards for your friends.
We are in Galway, written Gaillimh in Irish. It appears that this town has a bit older style of homes, complete with thatched roofs, which I find to be incredibly interesting.
We're in Galway and our mission is to find the ring. This is the area in which it originated. Finding one for all the girls and ourselves. And we were just called lads and told that this is our type of town. Young and trendy and fun. Adding it to my list.
I managed to pick up some gifts for a few people at this little shop in Galway, and I'm going to check out a shop on the way back to the bus after lunch if time permits. If not, we will be in Killarney for 2 days so I should have some time at that point to get most of the gifts covered. Currently, we're down in a street level pastry shop having coffee and soup. It is very cute, complete with a small fire. It was established in 1872. O' Griofa in Irish.
We were walking back to the bus and came across a street musician. I think that is my favorite aspect of city life. These musicians are almost always really talented and genuine. They're always fun to watch. If I can access the internet tonight I will post the quick vid I took of him singing Green Day.
We are in much more of the mountainous regions of Ireland today. We've seen some cliffs and lots of ocean and city, but now we're into the towns that have virtually been almost untouched for the last 10,000 years. It is a lot more desolate out here with just a few small homes dotting the land. There are extremely high mountains that reach up past the clouds, and there are rocks covering the land, with old stone walls all around. It is really incredible because it divides the land up into all types of square plots of land everywhere. Truly a unique sight for those of us in America that are used to a concrete jungle with very little land around.
The cliffs of Moher are an indescribable sight to see. You can only witness it to understand the beauty of it. I've said that a lot about Ireland, but it's true. Kristen told me before I left that I needed to be prepared to be changed after visiting Ireland, and I completely understand now what she meant. Ireland is a place of such beauty and peace, nature, preservation, and joy. It doesn't make you feel like you are in the middle of nowhere like deliverance does. It makes you feel like one with nature. And yet it provides you with city life and excitement and pubs, as well. I truly feel like this is home to me. I can feel in my heart that this is my heritage. And it does change you.
Durty Nelley's is at the entrance to the Bunratty Castle entrance, which we were told is one of the oldest pubs in all of Ireland. Hopefully we get to stop by on our way out of the castle dinner we're going to tonight! Walking off of the bus, the first thing you notice is the smell of peet smoke coming from the castle. What a wonderful aroma! This is going to be excellent!
I can't even explain how amazing of a time I am having here! I'm eating in a castle with entertainment and all the food. We eat our soup without spoons, singing Irish Eyes...God I love this place!
I could live here forever! There is a never ending supply of smiles, drinks, history, and fun! This is one of the best days yet! I love my heritage! I love these people! And Mead wine is delicious! Wine with a bit of honey! I think I would get any job offered here just to be able to be a part of this!
My parents just fed each other two spoonfuls of dessert. Too much wine tonight. Again. I love this country.
Wow, what an amazing night! There was good food, good music, good acting, and lots of alcohol! All of the things I like most! And I spoke with my waitress who had just graduated with a degree in education, as well! The sad part is that there are about 40 teaching jobs in all of Ireland, and just in her class, 3,000 people graduated. This doesn't look promising, but she gave me her bosses' number for a job at the Bunratty Castle, and told me they are hiring a lot of teachers in Scotland and London so at the very least, I could live in Ireland and have a really fun job during summers! What a great night!! And I've had a bit to drink of course and made it silly with a group of the ladies on tour!
Giant's Causeway, Derry, Donegal, and Sligo-May 14
We are driving from Belfast to Giant's Causeway in Northeastern Ireland. The drive is really beautiful, and truthfully my favorite parts of this trip. Holly and I will very often just take long drives down the coast north or south on Saturdays when we are both off of work. It is relaxing and beautiful to just feel so free of everything that holds us back from enjoying this beautiful earth that God has provided us with. That's our way of appreciating what God gave us, and that's how I feel about the driving here. Of course I love getting off the bus and exploring and taking pictures, as well. And spending real quality time with my family creating new, unforgettable memories, but truthfully, the drive is my real, true moments of peace and happiness. Its like driving through a live version of a Settlers of Catan game!
Just saw a cow humping another cow doggie style. NBD.
There are certain genres of music and certain artists and certain songs to listen to depending on your location and trip and activity. In Florida, when driving along the coast, Holly and I tend to listen to Justin Beiber because he is fun and upbeat, and it just seems appropriate. Other times we'll put on Noah and the Whale because he's an amazing musician, and he's quite relaxing. Here in Ireland, I'm listening to Josh Garrels. Particularly the song Jacaronda. It is a song that when I first heard it, I described it as a song that was created from the most beautiful parts of my dreams. And here, while driving through the rolling hills and mountains of green pastures and weeping willows and wildflower covered hills, I don't believe there could be a moment of more perfect bliss.
We just took a stop in Bally Castle. Its amazing how different each area of Ireland is, yet every part is absolutely stunning and beautiful in their own way. From the coast of Bally Castle, we could see the cliffs, as well as the mountains of Scotland just in the distance. Another aspect I love about being abroad is that you're so close to so many different countries in Europe. This was an incredible part of the day.
Portaneevy was our next stop on the way to Giant's Causeway. This was a cliff that overlooks the sea. It is a sight that cannot be explained, described, or captured on film accurately. There are literally no words or amount of pictures that can be taken in order to truly portray what the greatness of this country is.
I just stood at the edge of the world. The Giant's Causeway is the most amazing sight I've ever seen, and the most incredible experience I've ever had. I have literally no words to describe it except heaven. You're standing in the sky it feels like, with jetting cliffs, crashing waves, limestone rocks, and endless ocean all set behind rolling hills and pastures with sheep and wool everywhere. This, so far, has become the most amazing day of my life to date.
Note to the world: Shamrock's don't exist. And tonight after 8pm, ill be watching Eurovision. I suppose it can be related to American Idol. But most of these musicians are awful. I'm supposed to watch for Jedward, a brother duo of James and Edward. We'll see how that turns out!
We stopped off in Londonderry for lunch and explorations. The bad part of this tour is we have 46 people so we are only afforded an hour or so in each place as we have to get around the whole country in 9 days. This town is beautiful. Its built around a former castle and is just incredible! They take pounds here but our bus driver Jerry tells us that most places will take Euros, as well, so among site seeing, I hope to get a souvenir or two here, as well. We're eating at Becketts for lunch, and mom, dad, and I are all having an Irish coffee to warm up our bodies from the cold. It has been raining most of the day, and we're pretty damp from the Causeway, so its definitely chilly out. Also, and I'm sorry for being so random and all over the place, but I have to write these thoughts down when they come to me or I will surely forget. They do really say, Top o' the morning to ya". And I love it. Its special. And 'Cheers'. A couple just sat down next to us and said, hello all, cheers to ya. This culture is friendly. Quite friendly. Its really nice to be around.
We just finished touring Londonderry, and what an awesome city! It has so much history and yet modern touches have been applied to it to make it functional. I love the way this country preserves history, yet moves forward and incorporates that into the history. That's how it really should be. There is virtually no part of Ireland that has not been beautiful, fun, historic, and unique in it's own way. Everybody really needs to make a trip here a priority in their lives at some point. It is worth every sacrifice you'll have to make.
We're in Donnegal now. Going around the diamond, which is what they call the center of town. It looks like a really cute, small town, similar to downtown Delray. Except their is a huge, beautiful historic cathedral in the center! This is the part of Ireland that my family is from. My great grandmother was one of the three big families that lived in Donnegal. That is pretty interesting and information that I just found out. Of course someone from my family would live in a town with The Olde Castle Bar! And a Ferrero Rocher Ice cream cup! Yes, please :) Donegal was quite an interesting town, but I don't prefer it to Bally Castle or Londonderry. And my tour guide has just turned me on to the county in which I should search for jobs: County Cork, for it is nicknamed The Rebel County. Adding that to my list of places to search for jobs.
Our guide just took us on a surprise trip to Drumcliffe Church just outside of Sligo. It is a beautiful, grand church. Anglican. And a huge graveyard surrounding it, huge mountains in the background. And while there, I suddenly got a pang of sorrow at the thought of my grandma, Muzzy. I know how much she would love to be here with us, how much she'd want to share with us. She would love to recall all of her wonderful memories and Irish pride to us. And it made me sad to think she physically can't be here now or ever again. And it makes me miss her, as though she is already gone from this world. It stirs up lots of thoughts and emotions, mainly one of my love for her. I knew I loved her, but being here makes me think about her and all she's meant to me and all the memories of her and it makes me so happy, because I've had such joy being her grandson. But also sorrow at the thought of her pending departure from this world. I love you, my buttercup.
Christina would love the hotel we're staying at tonight. It's an extension of Best Western, but it's called Sligo Southern Hotel. It is decorated in old Victorian style, very Pride and Prejudice, and there are lots of windows that you can sit in everywhere, including our rooms. Its quite nicely done.
Well we're all done eating, when for a walk around Sligo, and we're watching Eurovision, which is the equivalent of American Idol, except for other countries. The Romania group on right now started off sounding like Muse, and now they just sound like the Brady Bunch. Not a huge fan. Waiting for some live music in the bar to start. Our guide told us they're not very good, so we might just go upstairs and watch tv or go to a pub down the road that has better live music. We'll see.
Belfast, Downpatrick-May 13
There are these unique yellow flowers that grow like bushes all over the fields, just the fields that are off the roads and highways. The side fields. And they are all different types of yellows, too. Some look like pollen just sitting on bushes-amazing. The land is so very green and is divided which ends up looking just like it does from the airplane. While on our drive from Dublin to Belfast, we were driving through Mead and I noticed some yellow tint far off in the fields. When looking more closely, I found that it was an entire field. The field had so many yellow flowers that it outnumbered the green grass and made the entire field yellow. So yellow that it could be seen from quite a distance. It was absolutely breathtaking. Btw, I just want to let you in on a little secret: this tour is full of only old people. Besides Paul and I, my parents are the youngest ones here. And my parents are 60 and 65 years old. So there is a little picture of how many whines and complaints have occurred thus far. But the four of us are making our own fun, and secluding ourselves from everyone else on the tour. Naturally. Now we're driving so I can't really take pictures as they all come out blurry and with window reflections, but I wish you could see the landscape here. Of course my mere words could never explain the beauty of this land, but there are lush greens covering every inch of space that is not road, and dotted with wildflowers set against the backdrop of huge stretches of mountains that reach up into the clouds. It is a place that every person needs to see at some point in life, no matter the cost. We just crossed the border from the Republic of Ireland into Northern Ireland. The tour guide is telling us that there is no real difference between the two parts except for cosmetic things, such as the speed limits change from kilometers to miles per hour, and the currency changes from Euros to Pounds and silver. I've got Euros already, so I'm going to try and get some pounds, as well. I've got Canadian dollars and Looneys at home, and Euros now, Pesos, and now Pounds, so I want to get as many forms of currency as possible. Its so interesting to collect. I found out that the yellow flowers are called Gourse and are nearly always in bloom, yet cause a few field fires. The white flowers are aptly called May Flowers. Interesting. Just passed sheep, horses, and cows! The tour guide just told us that the majority of Ireland speaks English, however, some speak Irish and there is a third language spoken in some parts, called Scotsgallic. Apparently is was the accent and language spoken by a large group of settlers way back when and is still spoken by a select few groups today. A little fun fact for you. I just learned that before St. Patrick was a saint, he came to Ireland to the town of present day Downpatrick and was captured by Irish pirates. Who knew such a sect of people existed? He was sold into slavery and was in charge of doing some kind of nasty work with pigs. No thank you. Once set free, he came back to Ireland having been ordained a Priest and preached to the people here. There are a few things that I'm noticing about Ireland that I particularly enjoy, and that is there use of colors. On Project Runway, the judges are always happy to see designers that aren't afraid of color. That describes Ireland perfectly. There are buildings of all sizes, shapes, materials, and colors. Like I said earlier, we passed a purple building. And the buildings that don't have color have beautiful, handcrafted doors that are vibrant in color. I've seen reds, blues, greens, yellows, and blues. And the ones that aren't colored are made from exquisite wood and have so much detail. The other aspect that I enjoy are their cemetaries. These cemetaries are filled with chairs, flowers, and color, as well. You can tell people are visiting daily, and they appear to be happy places, not sad and scary places like in America. We are about 10 mins away from Downpatrick, which is where we will be stopping for a bit. Although it is a small town with a population of only about 5000 people, it is a rather famous town. As you probably guessed, it is called Downpatrick because it shares some kind of tie with St. Patrick. This city is actually where he is buried. So there is a lot of history in this town, which I'm excited to learn more about.
Back on the coach now. We were able to take a 45 minute excursion in County Down, particularly the Down Cathedral and St. Patrick center. This cathedral was incredibly beautiful, surrounded by graveyards and beautiful countryside, as well as a quaint town down the hill. Paul and I were walking around and decided to break the rules, naturally. We saw a little sideroad field, and we had to explore, even though there were gates and Private Property signs. And I'm so glad we did. This is where the real Ireland was. The rolling hills, the lakes with white swans and grazing cows, wild flowers blowing in the breeze. It was beyond description.
Another unique aspect I've noticed: parking isn't on the streets, it's done on the sidewalks. Strange.
There is a really obnoxious woman sitting behind us. Tomorrow we'll have to make sure to stay away from her. The tour guide just asked who wasn't going to come on the Belfast city tour and Crown Pub trip. She put her hand up and said she is going to get her haircut instead. Who comes on a trip to Ireland and gets a haircut instead of touring? She will not shut up. Be on the lookout in Irish news for a woman brutally murdered during a Cosmos tour.
Also, if people have apartments or homes for rent, they don't put for sale or for rent. The signs say to let, and where they have been sold or rented out, instead of a sold sign, it says agreed. I like this better.
We just stopped off in Belfast to go to the Botanical Gardens. It was truly beautiful, although the one in Chicago is still superior. Here is an interesting sidenote now back on the bus: You know how a couple of moms will push their babies in the park together? Well walking down the street right now is a dad and a couple of friends pushing his baby in a stroller together in the park. I quite like seeing that as it doesn't happen too oft in America.
We just arrived at our hotel tonight, The Encore on Talbot Street in Belfast. Looks lovely, ill report in a minute
Wow, this place is POSH! Super mod features and layouts, its amazing! And of course a fantastic bar in the lobby. All reds and green tones decorate the lobby, very nicely done.
Now that I've spent a sufficient amount of time squealing over my amazing room, we have reloaded the bus and are on our way to have a city tour of Belfast, ending with a drink in the Crown Liquor Saloon downtown. Thankfully, the obnoxious woman decided to get her haircut now instead of coming with us.
On this city tour, I learned that Belfast, Ireland is the place where the Titanic was built and launched, and yet they don't have a Titanic museum. They say that they didn't want to celebrate a disaster that ended lives, but that so many tourists think they should have one that they have begun work on building a Titanic museum and will be open next year in time for the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.
Lots of this city is designed around the Titanic, especially since it seems to be quite a fishing city.
There is a part of Belfast that is very British. Apparently you can hold two passports: Ireland or Britain. This area is very British because C.S. Lewis was born in Belfast and there are paintings of him on the sides of buildings that are meant to represent positive changes. Pretty cool. Also in this part of the city, there are hundreds of flags with the faces of Kate and William. Good Lord.
Well that city tour was really excellent! There is so much history in Belfast and I love learning it by actually seeing it and being immersed in it. If you could see the pace at which I am typing now compared to the pace I was typing at prior to going to Royal Crown Saloon, you'd know I've now had one magners and am moving on to my second. I didn't eat lunch (except some goldfish and nerds) so the cider hit me a lot quicker than it normally would have.
We are now at Franky and Benny's, a little restaurant around the corner from our hotel. It is situated in an environment that could be compared with City Place. Very American atmosphere, which is a bit nice when you feel like a stranger. Today was a great day overall, and I'm really looking forward to going to Sligo tomorrow!
Sidenote: Magner's Pear Cider is not as good as regular Magner's. Another, last, sidenote: Most people look really happy here. As though they enjoy being here, in this moment, right now. You don't see that as much in America. I quite like that.
Back at the hotel, in for the night. It was a 14 hour day again, and everyday seems to be, so we're usually settled in by 8:30pm so we can shower, watch tv, and get online for a bit before bed. Btw, it doesn't get dark here until about midnight. Its 9pm right now, and this is what it looks like:
Back on the coach now. We were able to take a 45 minute excursion in County Down, particularly the Down Cathedral and St. Patrick center. This cathedral was incredibly beautiful, surrounded by graveyards and beautiful countryside, as well as a quaint town down the hill. Paul and I were walking around and decided to break the rules, naturally. We saw a little sideroad field, and we had to explore, even though there were gates and Private Property signs. And I'm so glad we did. This is where the real Ireland was. The rolling hills, the lakes with white swans and grazing cows, wild flowers blowing in the breeze. It was beyond description.
Another unique aspect I've noticed: parking isn't on the streets, it's done on the sidewalks. Strange.
There is a really obnoxious woman sitting behind us. Tomorrow we'll have to make sure to stay away from her. The tour guide just asked who wasn't going to come on the Belfast city tour and Crown Pub trip. She put her hand up and said she is going to get her haircut instead. Who comes on a trip to Ireland and gets a haircut instead of touring? She will not shut up. Be on the lookout in Irish news for a woman brutally murdered during a Cosmos tour.
Also, if people have apartments or homes for rent, they don't put for sale or for rent. The signs say to let, and where they have been sold or rented out, instead of a sold sign, it says agreed. I like this better.
We just stopped off in Belfast to go to the Botanical Gardens. It was truly beautiful, although the one in Chicago is still superior. Here is an interesting sidenote now back on the bus: You know how a couple of moms will push their babies in the park together? Well walking down the street right now is a dad and a couple of friends pushing his baby in a stroller together in the park. I quite like seeing that as it doesn't happen too oft in America.
We just arrived at our hotel tonight, The Encore on Talbot Street in Belfast. Looks lovely, ill report in a minute
Wow, this place is POSH! Super mod features and layouts, its amazing! And of course a fantastic bar in the lobby. All reds and green tones decorate the lobby, very nicely done.
Now that I've spent a sufficient amount of time squealing over my amazing room, we have reloaded the bus and are on our way to have a city tour of Belfast, ending with a drink in the Crown Liquor Saloon downtown. Thankfully, the obnoxious woman decided to get her haircut now instead of coming with us.
On this city tour, I learned that Belfast, Ireland is the place where the Titanic was built and launched, and yet they don't have a Titanic museum. They say that they didn't want to celebrate a disaster that ended lives, but that so many tourists think they should have one that they have begun work on building a Titanic museum and will be open next year in time for the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.
Lots of this city is designed around the Titanic, especially since it seems to be quite a fishing city.
There is a part of Belfast that is very British. Apparently you can hold two passports: Ireland or Britain. This area is very British because C.S. Lewis was born in Belfast and there are paintings of him on the sides of buildings that are meant to represent positive changes. Pretty cool. Also in this part of the city, there are hundreds of flags with the faces of Kate and William. Good Lord.
Well that city tour was really excellent! There is so much history in Belfast and I love learning it by actually seeing it and being immersed in it. If you could see the pace at which I am typing now compared to the pace I was typing at prior to going to Royal Crown Saloon, you'd know I've now had one magners and am moving on to my second. I didn't eat lunch (except some goldfish and nerds) so the cider hit me a lot quicker than it normally would have.
We are now at Franky and Benny's, a little restaurant around the corner from our hotel. It is situated in an environment that could be compared with City Place. Very American atmosphere, which is a bit nice when you feel like a stranger. Today was a great day overall, and I'm really looking forward to going to Sligo tomorrow!
Sidenote: Magner's Pear Cider is not as good as regular Magner's. Another, last, sidenote: Most people look really happy here. As though they enjoy being here, in this moment, right now. You don't see that as much in America. I quite like that.
Back at the hotel, in for the night. It was a 14 hour day again, and everyday seems to be, so we're usually settled in by 8:30pm so we can shower, watch tv, and get online for a bit before bed. Btw, it doesn't get dark here until about midnight. Its 9pm right now, and this is what it looks like:
Dublin-May 12
The journey to Ireland was long, tiring, and filled with hours of waiting and being patient. But so far it has certainly been worth it. We started at 9:30am on Wednesday, May 11, and arrived at 9:30am on May 12. It didn't take 24 hours, but the time difference made it seem like it. Ireland is 5 hours ahead of Florida, so right now it is 9:25am here and only 4:25am in Florida. When we finally got picked up from the airport, we headed to our hotel, Regency. It was located just a 5 minute walk from dowtown Dublin, so that was great! We settled into our rooms, and after finally figuring out that the electricity only works when you put your key card in a slot, Paul and I took showers and tried to get online. We couldn't, so we met mom and dad and walked downtown for some food. We ate at a placed called The Cat Cage, which by reading we thought may be a strip club. But it actually was really quaint inside and ended up having some really delicious food (little hot dogs and potato wedges). Once we finished lunch, we just walked around town a little longer and then headed back to the hotel for a quick rest. Keep in mind that I hadn't slept in about 24 hours at that point. I slept for about 30 mins and then it was time to go to the bus and meet everyone. We went around downtown on the bus and looked at lots of history down there. For about 45 mins, we were able to walk around and take pictures and such. It was a really nice time, and I got a dark cafe mocha from Insomnia. This coffee company is like the starbucks of America here in Dublin. A friend of mine owns one in Seattle, so I had to check it out. They are superior to Starbucks in my opinion! Once finished, we went back to the hotel, had dinner (Shephard's Pie) and a drink (Bulmer's Cider on tap) at the hotel restaurant, and then played some cards in the room. Around 10:30pm, we went to bed because we were all exhausted. The strangest thing about Ireland is that it never truly gets dark here. At 10pm, it looked like it was Florida time-5pm. The sun was just beginning to set. It's nice, but it makes you feel like you're going to bed way too early. I slept for 9 hours straight, and definitely needed it! The first day was a major success, and the second day is off to a great start! Stay tuned.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
There are so many struggles in our daily lives that sometimes we feel overwhelmed, as though we should just give up now. After all, what's the point?
Over this past week, I have had the opportunity to work with a variety of age levels in the school system. I worked with 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 9th. And although I do not have the quite the gift needed to work with middle school/high school, I was able to see these kids on their level.
The reason that I love what I do is because of the point I made at the beginning. Struggle. There are so many people out there that tell these kids they'll never amount to anything, that have no guidance, that are misunderstood. These kids struggle just to get through a day. And to see them move from day to day is miraculous.
Do you remember what is was like to be in middle school? The only word that comes to mind for me is terrible. I hated every second that I was in middle school because it was always awkward and it just seemed uncomfortable. So when I think about it, these are the kids that we need to show the most love and compassion towards, not toss aside like yesterday's garbage.
I'm so thankful that God blessed me with the gift of some form of children's ministry. God loves the little children, all the children of the world. Each one of them is precious in His sight. He tells us to treat them with love and respect, and to honor them and encourage them. We are their guidance in this world. We are their everything. Even when it seems that they want nothing to do with us, we are all they truly know in life. If we just uprooted ourselves from their lives, they would have no idea where to turn, and more than likely, they would flounder.
I know that not everybody receives the ultimate joy that I receive from working with children, and that's ok. But I just want to encourage you to guide these kids along in life to the best of your ability. Parents, every action you make is being watched by these children, and you don't seem to understand how much you are ripping them apart and ruining the goodness within them by your selfish desires. Love is the ultimate motivator.
None of this is really too cohesive, but these are thoughts, and they are mine for you to take and use as you will.
Over this past week, I have had the opportunity to work with a variety of age levels in the school system. I worked with 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 9th. And although I do not have the quite the gift needed to work with middle school/high school, I was able to see these kids on their level.
The reason that I love what I do is because of the point I made at the beginning. Struggle. There are so many people out there that tell these kids they'll never amount to anything, that have no guidance, that are misunderstood. These kids struggle just to get through a day. And to see them move from day to day is miraculous.
Do you remember what is was like to be in middle school? The only word that comes to mind for me is terrible. I hated every second that I was in middle school because it was always awkward and it just seemed uncomfortable. So when I think about it, these are the kids that we need to show the most love and compassion towards, not toss aside like yesterday's garbage.
I'm so thankful that God blessed me with the gift of some form of children's ministry. God loves the little children, all the children of the world. Each one of them is precious in His sight. He tells us to treat them with love and respect, and to honor them and encourage them. We are their guidance in this world. We are their everything. Even when it seems that they want nothing to do with us, we are all they truly know in life. If we just uprooted ourselves from their lives, they would have no idea where to turn, and more than likely, they would flounder.
I know that not everybody receives the ultimate joy that I receive from working with children, and that's ok. But I just want to encourage you to guide these kids along in life to the best of your ability. Parents, every action you make is being watched by these children, and you don't seem to understand how much you are ripping them apart and ruining the goodness within them by your selfish desires. Love is the ultimate motivator.
None of this is really too cohesive, but these are thoughts, and they are mine for you to take and use as you will.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Complete
It started on January 3, 2011 and ended April 21, 2011. I began my student teaching internship. I was moody, still sore from my skateboarding injury, not in the mood to begin a teaching internship for the next 4 months. There was such an arrogance that I was clinging to, as though I didn't need this internship, that I was already prepared and ready to just graduate and become a teacher. It truly was an ugly quality, and I'm sure it read as just that to everyone I came in contact with. This is when I am truly the most thankful for God's interventions in our lives.
As a result of my negative attitude, it took me much longer to gain the trust, respect, and joy of the students that I was in contact with. This has never happened to me in the 10 years I have been working with kids. I've always been able to connect with them instantaneously. It was this fact that made me realize that this was something in my heart that I desperately needed to change.
I would love to say that the change happened immediately, and that the next day the kids were clinging to me and loving every moment with me. But that's not how this story plays out.
It always amazes me how personally God knows each one of us. Our strengths, our weaknesses, our struggles. God took me one day at a time for this process. He changed my heart gradually, not all at once. And I truly believe that was because I always try to do everything as quickly as possible, I want to see immediate results, I'm impatient. This is a true weakness at times. And that is how I know the existence of God is present and more real than anything I know. He knows my heart, and He took the time to teach me a lesson through all of this. To slow down, to be patient, to hold tight to the truth that He is going to make this exactly what He has planned for it to be.
Day by day, the progress was little, yet consistent. Until one day, the kids were my fans. And I was their devoted fans just as much. I found myself looking forward to going to work. I found myself smiling so much that the kids even commented on it. They told me that I was always smiling, that I was always happy. They wanted to know why. And I told them, "You make me smile." It was a huge, awesome thing that I could never have seen coming, yet that I knew God would bring.
It is now April 24, 2011, Easter Sunday. And as if that isn't reason enough in itself to smile and rejoice, I am also done with my student teaching internship. Wow, 4 months gone, done. Graduation is in less than two weeks. I'm going to be in Ireland in three weeks. My life is literally changing before my eyes. I'm going from student to professional. Incredible, and so amazing. God took me here and got me to this point. It took 7 years, but He did it. And even that amazes me. 7 years, when it would normally take 4. Patience was being taught and learned by me from Him.
The best part of what is going on in my heart right now is from the experience of my last day of student teaching. There was a huge party for my departure. Cake, cookies, cards, gifts, tears. It was joyous, it was painful, it was exciting. All of these emotions made me drunk with the love of my God. And something that I didn't expect was how hard it would be to leave. In the beginning, I couldn't have wanted anything more than to be done and leave.
But with me, hearts get into the mix, and it is over. A quality that I am so thankful God gave me is the ability to allow people easily into my heart, and to be able to gain the hearts of others quite easily. This is truly a special gift. And with kids, it is just the same. I see the hearts and the love of these kids in every interaction. And when hearts are involved, it makes everything so much harder, yet so much greater. Every time I have a group of kids and then have to let them go at the end of the year, it is the same thing. Pain, tears, sorrow...yet pride, thankfulness, and joy. It is really a mix of emotions that literally hurts my heart for a day or so. And sometimes I wonder if I should get into a career that is completely free of children so this doesn't happen, but then....I wouldn't trade this pain in for anything. It makes me more alive than ever.
The basis is this: I loved my student teaching internship, and I have been so rejuvenated. I know that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life, with every heartbeat, every heartbreak, every good moment, every bad moment, every struggle.
As a result of my negative attitude, it took me much longer to gain the trust, respect, and joy of the students that I was in contact with. This has never happened to me in the 10 years I have been working with kids. I've always been able to connect with them instantaneously. It was this fact that made me realize that this was something in my heart that I desperately needed to change.
I would love to say that the change happened immediately, and that the next day the kids were clinging to me and loving every moment with me. But that's not how this story plays out.
It always amazes me how personally God knows each one of us. Our strengths, our weaknesses, our struggles. God took me one day at a time for this process. He changed my heart gradually, not all at once. And I truly believe that was because I always try to do everything as quickly as possible, I want to see immediate results, I'm impatient. This is a true weakness at times. And that is how I know the existence of God is present and more real than anything I know. He knows my heart, and He took the time to teach me a lesson through all of this. To slow down, to be patient, to hold tight to the truth that He is going to make this exactly what He has planned for it to be.
Day by day, the progress was little, yet consistent. Until one day, the kids were my fans. And I was their devoted fans just as much. I found myself looking forward to going to work. I found myself smiling so much that the kids even commented on it. They told me that I was always smiling, that I was always happy. They wanted to know why. And I told them, "You make me smile." It was a huge, awesome thing that I could never have seen coming, yet that I knew God would bring.
It is now April 24, 2011, Easter Sunday. And as if that isn't reason enough in itself to smile and rejoice, I am also done with my student teaching internship. Wow, 4 months gone, done. Graduation is in less than two weeks. I'm going to be in Ireland in three weeks. My life is literally changing before my eyes. I'm going from student to professional. Incredible, and so amazing. God took me here and got me to this point. It took 7 years, but He did it. And even that amazes me. 7 years, when it would normally take 4. Patience was being taught and learned by me from Him.
The best part of what is going on in my heart right now is from the experience of my last day of student teaching. There was a huge party for my departure. Cake, cookies, cards, gifts, tears. It was joyous, it was painful, it was exciting. All of these emotions made me drunk with the love of my God. And something that I didn't expect was how hard it would be to leave. In the beginning, I couldn't have wanted anything more than to be done and leave.
But with me, hearts get into the mix, and it is over. A quality that I am so thankful God gave me is the ability to allow people easily into my heart, and to be able to gain the hearts of others quite easily. This is truly a special gift. And with kids, it is just the same. I see the hearts and the love of these kids in every interaction. And when hearts are involved, it makes everything so much harder, yet so much greater. Every time I have a group of kids and then have to let them go at the end of the year, it is the same thing. Pain, tears, sorrow...yet pride, thankfulness, and joy. It is really a mix of emotions that literally hurts my heart for a day or so. And sometimes I wonder if I should get into a career that is completely free of children so this doesn't happen, but then....I wouldn't trade this pain in for anything. It makes me more alive than ever.
The basis is this: I loved my student teaching internship, and I have been so rejuvenated. I know that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life, with every heartbeat, every heartbreak, every good moment, every bad moment, every struggle.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I know.
Throughout our lives, we are running a marathon. Sometimes we forget to slow down and take a break, so we miss a few things along the way. If we are lucky, we get to run the marathon in a loop so that we have the opportunity to see things again and really take notice of them. Learn to slow down.
We all possess a gift. And we are always searching for it. I have searched for many years for my gift. What will I do with my life? How will I make a living? What am I going to school for? Is this really what I want to do? Am I going to do this for the next 50 years? And I've searched for the answers to those questions so many times.
Today, and many times in the past, I have found those answers. But not without effort. Not without failures and success. Not without hardships. Not without following another path for awhile. Not without help.
Today, I went to visit the after care kids and staff at Advent Lutheran School where I worked for two years. I haven't seen those kids since August 2010. So, about...7 months now. And I decided today was the day to visit. To see everyone.
I didn't see everyone because I didn't get there until 4:15pm and they were doing homework and I was talking with Rhonda. But I saw some of them. And that was enough.
What impacted me the most was when two 5th grade boys saw me, their faces lit up, they ran up to me, squeezed tight, and told me how much they had missed me. They kept talking about how they wished I was still there, that they wanted to be at the school where I was teaching so they could be in my class, and things like that.
I can't begin, I can't even touch on how that made me feel. There are so many times in our lives when we feel like what we are doing with our lives is a waste. Like we need to be doing more. We get discouraged so easily and burnt out by all the responsibilities that we have in life that we start to second guess our impact in this world.
Today, those two boys reminded me why I got into education in the first place. I have had so many trials, so many hard times, so many moments of weakness and of discouragement that it has made me want to just begin another career and not even go into education. But today, I couldn't imagine doing anything else for the rest of my life.
No matter how much I may think I am not impacting these kids because every lesson isn't fun or I have to yell at them sometimes or we go on break or hit moments where we are just done, these kids need me, and I need them. They are impacted by me every day that I am with them, and even when I'm not. And vice versa.
Please, don't second guess yourself. What you do makes a difference to someone, and I guarantee someone has made a difference to you. We all have a purpose. We all have a plan and a reason for existing, even when we think we couldn't possibly matter to anyone. We do.
Children are my entire life and my source of happiness. I love every moment that I get to spend in their presence. And I know they feel the same about us, even if we don't always feel that way. Hold your head up high, because trust me, you matter. And that is truth.
We all possess a gift. And we are always searching for it. I have searched for many years for my gift. What will I do with my life? How will I make a living? What am I going to school for? Is this really what I want to do? Am I going to do this for the next 50 years? And I've searched for the answers to those questions so many times.
Today, and many times in the past, I have found those answers. But not without effort. Not without failures and success. Not without hardships. Not without following another path for awhile. Not without help.
Today, I went to visit the after care kids and staff at Advent Lutheran School where I worked for two years. I haven't seen those kids since August 2010. So, about...7 months now. And I decided today was the day to visit. To see everyone.
I didn't see everyone because I didn't get there until 4:15pm and they were doing homework and I was talking with Rhonda. But I saw some of them. And that was enough.
What impacted me the most was when two 5th grade boys saw me, their faces lit up, they ran up to me, squeezed tight, and told me how much they had missed me. They kept talking about how they wished I was still there, that they wanted to be at the school where I was teaching so they could be in my class, and things like that.
I can't begin, I can't even touch on how that made me feel. There are so many times in our lives when we feel like what we are doing with our lives is a waste. Like we need to be doing more. We get discouraged so easily and burnt out by all the responsibilities that we have in life that we start to second guess our impact in this world.
Today, those two boys reminded me why I got into education in the first place. I have had so many trials, so many hard times, so many moments of weakness and of discouragement that it has made me want to just begin another career and not even go into education. But today, I couldn't imagine doing anything else for the rest of my life.
No matter how much I may think I am not impacting these kids because every lesson isn't fun or I have to yell at them sometimes or we go on break or hit moments where we are just done, these kids need me, and I need them. They are impacted by me every day that I am with them, and even when I'm not. And vice versa.
Please, don't second guess yourself. What you do makes a difference to someone, and I guarantee someone has made a difference to you. We all have a purpose. We all have a plan and a reason for existing, even when we think we couldn't possibly matter to anyone. We do.
Children are my entire life and my source of happiness. I love every moment that I get to spend in their presence. And I know they feel the same about us, even if we don't always feel that way. Hold your head up high, because trust me, you matter. And that is truth.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Starbucks
I had to come inside to Starbucks immediately to post. I have just found OUR section of Montreal. I think it is the Latin Quarter ironically enough. It is definitely the arts district. I was walking back from downtown and I noticed this incredibly beautiful steeple, so I started walking down Avenue Saint-Denis to go take a picture of it. Before I got there, I noticed a shop I thought Sarah would enjoy. It looked dark and seedy, like a place that is similar to Hot Topic. One that would sell creepy baby dolls. It turned out to be more like an S&M shop, so I walked by quickly.
Then I noticed a bunch of Tattouage and Percage Shops (Tattoos and piercings, duh). And they looked clean and REAL awesome. There were buildings with awesome graffiti on them, you know, art work, not just random nonsense.
And there are all kinds of awesome restaurants, Star Bucks, and the like. And when I sat down at Starbucks, I noticed a table of people that are sketching. Of course, being the nosy person I am, I immediately spied on them to get a glimpse of what they are sketching. It is REAL good. Lots of waves and colors and such. Stuff that we'd get tattooed on our bodies. So I just had to come inside and post about it.
I'm trying to decide what to do tomorrow. I already called the girl that I am renting from and told her I was going to leave around noon even though my bus doesn't leave until 5pm, but she wanted to charge me for an extra day even though I was barely even going to be in the apt. So I'm gonna haul my luggage to the bus station and store it and then explore the downtown portion of the city that I haven't seen much of yet. But now I'm thinking the locker space might not be big enough for my suitcase, so maybe I should just pay the $30 for another day and keep it there. I guess I'll figure it out.
Then I noticed a bunch of Tattouage and Percage Shops (Tattoos and piercings, duh). And they looked clean and REAL awesome. There were buildings with awesome graffiti on them, you know, art work, not just random nonsense.
And there are all kinds of awesome restaurants, Star Bucks, and the like. And when I sat down at Starbucks, I noticed a table of people that are sketching. Of course, being the nosy person I am, I immediately spied on them to get a glimpse of what they are sketching. It is REAL good. Lots of waves and colors and such. Stuff that we'd get tattooed on our bodies. So I just had to come inside and post about it.
I'm trying to decide what to do tomorrow. I already called the girl that I am renting from and told her I was going to leave around noon even though my bus doesn't leave until 5pm, but she wanted to charge me for an extra day even though I was barely even going to be in the apt. So I'm gonna haul my luggage to the bus station and store it and then explore the downtown portion of the city that I haven't seen much of yet. But now I'm thinking the locker space might not be big enough for my suitcase, so maybe I should just pay the $30 for another day and keep it there. I guess I'll figure it out.
L'artdu vrai
I don't even know what that means. It is on the side of a building and it is surrounded by a picture of cornfields. Go figure.
I'm here in Montreal, QB! I was so excited when I first booked my tickets in October! And I was excited when I began my travels! But as of yesterday, I was over it and wanted to go home. This usually happens when I travel alone. I do it often, and everyone thinks I'm nuts or really brave. But don't misjudge me. I'm just a big baby.
I do enjoy this city. It is so many things all rolled into one. It is ugly. It has graffiti on every inch of wall space you can imagine. And not the good kind. The ones that say random things, like this wall next to me. It says Zock. Really? You can't even add a cool design?
But then there are lots of buildings with awesome graffiti. And you look down one direction of Rue de Mont-Royal and you see this huge stretch of city and buildings and homes. And then you look in the other direction, and you see another stretch of this, but at the end, you can see the snow covered mountains, as well. It is breathtakingly beautiful!
There is a lot going on here, as well. If it weren't for the language, you'd think this was an American city. Except for some of the shops windows that have put up American money and drawn mustache faces on the presidents that are on them. Very mature and kind, these French are.
There is trash LITTERING the streets. I mean, this kind of trash rivals the trash in NYC. It is EVERYWHERE. And not just normal trash, but broken bottles, broken light bulbs, baby carriages. It is pretty intense trash I'm talking about. And nobody seems to mind it!
Today was a lot better. I think I was emotional yesterday because I had expected Caitlyn to be with me my first day and second night here, but communication was mixed up and she got here the day I was leaving. So I only spent about 3 hours with her in the morning before she had to leave. And then I was alone.
And it probably wouldn't have even been that bad if I had a TV in my room! This apartment doesn't have a tv or a wireless connection, so I literally have to resort to reading or watching one of the 3 movies I brought with me. Meanwhile, I've already watched 2, so I'm going to have to buy another one tomorrow when I get back to the states.
This guy just walked by wearing an AWESOME jacket. Sidenote.
But I made it through last night. I wanted to leave early, change my flight, but it was going to cost $238, and that is just stupid, so I'm staying the whole length of my trip! Right on! I didn't cave in and just waste the money. I'm proud.
And I had considered taking a train or bus to NYC and visiting V today and come back tomorrow, but it would have been $150 and 16 hours of total travel time and only like 4 hours of actual awake time, so that was dumb, too.
Today a lot more people spoke English, so that was nice.
I am looking at Aldo across the street right now, and since I ruined my suede boots I bought from the Chicago store a long time ago, I may be taking a trip there after this. I'm also on the hunt for some cool things to bring back for the family. Mom, dad, Paul, Christina, Holly, Margrit, Brooke, you know. (I'd say you Lindsey, but I still haven't even mailed your birthday present, so there's no point)
I realize on every trip that I'm so content with what God has placed in my life that even a short trip away from those people I love is hard. And I really love that revelation. I seem to always be searching for something more, something better, something just different. And when I get the opportunity to pursue it, I hate it or I back out. And I used to think that made me a coward and a loser, but really, I am just so happy that I don't need anything else.
God has filled me with a heart of happiness and love and contentment for everything I have. I don't need more. If I get offered a job somewhere that is around people I know, I'd probably take it. But I'm going to do a heck of a lot more applying to schools in this area, or at least in Florida, because I need to slowly phase myself out of this area if that's what I want. But right now, it still isn't.
I love the city lifestyle, the easy access to transportation, all the cool shops, the hordes of people, the fast pace life. But I don't like the cold people, the lack of interaction, the darkness. So there are things I still need to consider. How much do I want it? Am I willing to give up what truly satisfies me here?
I'm going to explore some more. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.
I'm here in Montreal, QB! I was so excited when I first booked my tickets in October! And I was excited when I began my travels! But as of yesterday, I was over it and wanted to go home. This usually happens when I travel alone. I do it often, and everyone thinks I'm nuts or really brave. But don't misjudge me. I'm just a big baby.
I do enjoy this city. It is so many things all rolled into one. It is ugly. It has graffiti on every inch of wall space you can imagine. And not the good kind. The ones that say random things, like this wall next to me. It says Zock. Really? You can't even add a cool design?
But then there are lots of buildings with awesome graffiti. And you look down one direction of Rue de Mont-Royal and you see this huge stretch of city and buildings and homes. And then you look in the other direction, and you see another stretch of this, but at the end, you can see the snow covered mountains, as well. It is breathtakingly beautiful!
There is a lot going on here, as well. If it weren't for the language, you'd think this was an American city. Except for some of the shops windows that have put up American money and drawn mustache faces on the presidents that are on them. Very mature and kind, these French are.
There is trash LITTERING the streets. I mean, this kind of trash rivals the trash in NYC. It is EVERYWHERE. And not just normal trash, but broken bottles, broken light bulbs, baby carriages. It is pretty intense trash I'm talking about. And nobody seems to mind it!
Today was a lot better. I think I was emotional yesterday because I had expected Caitlyn to be with me my first day and second night here, but communication was mixed up and she got here the day I was leaving. So I only spent about 3 hours with her in the morning before she had to leave. And then I was alone.
And it probably wouldn't have even been that bad if I had a TV in my room! This apartment doesn't have a tv or a wireless connection, so I literally have to resort to reading or watching one of the 3 movies I brought with me. Meanwhile, I've already watched 2, so I'm going to have to buy another one tomorrow when I get back to the states.
This guy just walked by wearing an AWESOME jacket. Sidenote.
But I made it through last night. I wanted to leave early, change my flight, but it was going to cost $238, and that is just stupid, so I'm staying the whole length of my trip! Right on! I didn't cave in and just waste the money. I'm proud.
And I had considered taking a train or bus to NYC and visiting V today and come back tomorrow, but it would have been $150 and 16 hours of total travel time and only like 4 hours of actual awake time, so that was dumb, too.
Today a lot more people spoke English, so that was nice.
I am looking at Aldo across the street right now, and since I ruined my suede boots I bought from the Chicago store a long time ago, I may be taking a trip there after this. I'm also on the hunt for some cool things to bring back for the family. Mom, dad, Paul, Christina, Holly, Margrit, Brooke, you know. (I'd say you Lindsey, but I still haven't even mailed your birthday present, so there's no point)
I realize on every trip that I'm so content with what God has placed in my life that even a short trip away from those people I love is hard. And I really love that revelation. I seem to always be searching for something more, something better, something just different. And when I get the opportunity to pursue it, I hate it or I back out. And I used to think that made me a coward and a loser, but really, I am just so happy that I don't need anything else.
God has filled me with a heart of happiness and love and contentment for everything I have. I don't need more. If I get offered a job somewhere that is around people I know, I'd probably take it. But I'm going to do a heck of a lot more applying to schools in this area, or at least in Florida, because I need to slowly phase myself out of this area if that's what I want. But right now, it still isn't.
I love the city lifestyle, the easy access to transportation, all the cool shops, the hordes of people, the fast pace life. But I don't like the cold people, the lack of interaction, the darkness. So there are things I still need to consider. How much do I want it? Am I willing to give up what truly satisfies me here?
I'm going to explore some more. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Job
I sit here in my bed a broken man. I'm broken. Used goods. I have a heart that loves to seek after evil, a mind that yearns to destroy itself. I am nobody, and yet I am the same as everybody. We are each evil and broken in our own way. That statement alone brings tears to my eyes and hope to my heart.
If we are honest with ourselves, the statement I've made above makes sense, and you understand exactly what I'm talking about. We ARE all broken in some way, each and everyone of us. God knows that, others around us know that, but for some reason, we don't always seem to know it. But just because we're broken doesn't mean we can't be fixed or restored.
When a toy that our children play with breaks, one that they particularly love, we immediately look for solutions to fix it. We try to be innovative and fix it ourselves, we call someone who knows how to fix it, or we just go out and buy them a new one. We desperately want their happiness, and we don't want them to hurt. Even though it is just a toy, children only know so few things that a broken toy is like a broken heart.
In the same way, God is our father. He doesn't want us to feel sadness or pain. He sees that we are broken, and He knows EXACTLY how to fix us. He tries giving us direction, He pours out His love upon us, He does everything a perfect father would and should do. The problem is not our father, the problem is us. The children. We refuse to see His hand in front of us. We refuse to feel His love and mercy. And just like you would feel to watch your child cry out in pain and do everything you can to make his pain go away, God feels for us when we reject His help. But the difference is that He never gives up. Ever.
I was reading Job this morning, and it is one of my favorite books of the bible. It is real life. These are trials that he is going through, much like trials we go through. Yet we see how Job responds in both positive and negative ways. But what inspired me was the positive way in which he responded. His livestock was destroyed, houses were in ruins, and his children all died on the same day. And instead of crying and cursing and drinking and throwing himself headfirst into depression and a life of darkness, he PRAISES God. He rejoices. He says, God gives and God takes away. We take the good days, so we must also take the bad days.
I will admit that I begin weeping each time I read those lines, as I am weeping now just writing about it. I think about how often I turn away from the love and help of Jesus that stands right in front of me in times of trouble. Sure, I don't always turn away, sometimes I accept His help immediately. But sometimes I choose to just feel sorry for myself, complain, moan, cry out. And yet, God is right there, the whole time, watching me, cradling me, loving me like the perfect father He is, always giving me a way out. But I don't see it because of my pride, because of my selfish heart.
I am encouraged each day in some way, some days more than others. Today was more than others, and you needed to know in the hopes that you might be encouraged, as well.
If we are honest with ourselves, the statement I've made above makes sense, and you understand exactly what I'm talking about. We ARE all broken in some way, each and everyone of us. God knows that, others around us know that, but for some reason, we don't always seem to know it. But just because we're broken doesn't mean we can't be fixed or restored.
When a toy that our children play with breaks, one that they particularly love, we immediately look for solutions to fix it. We try to be innovative and fix it ourselves, we call someone who knows how to fix it, or we just go out and buy them a new one. We desperately want their happiness, and we don't want them to hurt. Even though it is just a toy, children only know so few things that a broken toy is like a broken heart.
In the same way, God is our father. He doesn't want us to feel sadness or pain. He sees that we are broken, and He knows EXACTLY how to fix us. He tries giving us direction, He pours out His love upon us, He does everything a perfect father would and should do. The problem is not our father, the problem is us. The children. We refuse to see His hand in front of us. We refuse to feel His love and mercy. And just like you would feel to watch your child cry out in pain and do everything you can to make his pain go away, God feels for us when we reject His help. But the difference is that He never gives up. Ever.
I was reading Job this morning, and it is one of my favorite books of the bible. It is real life. These are trials that he is going through, much like trials we go through. Yet we see how Job responds in both positive and negative ways. But what inspired me was the positive way in which he responded. His livestock was destroyed, houses were in ruins, and his children all died on the same day. And instead of crying and cursing and drinking and throwing himself headfirst into depression and a life of darkness, he PRAISES God. He rejoices. He says, God gives and God takes away. We take the good days, so we must also take the bad days.
I will admit that I begin weeping each time I read those lines, as I am weeping now just writing about it. I think about how often I turn away from the love and help of Jesus that stands right in front of me in times of trouble. Sure, I don't always turn away, sometimes I accept His help immediately. But sometimes I choose to just feel sorry for myself, complain, moan, cry out. And yet, God is right there, the whole time, watching me, cradling me, loving me like the perfect father He is, always giving me a way out. But I don't see it because of my pride, because of my selfish heart.
I am encouraged each day in some way, some days more than others. Today was more than others, and you needed to know in the hopes that you might be encouraged, as well.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Its been a while
I knew that teaching would be time consuming, so I'm not surprised that this is the first time I've had the opportunity to post in a while. On Saturdays, I usually have to work for a couple of hours in the morning, grocery shop, and do laundry. And of course, relax. Otherwise I'd go crazy. So of course, I don't often have the desire to type an entry, and for that, I apologize.
I'm going into my 9th week of student teaching. There are 16 weeks total, and actually only 15 weeks of actual teaching because of Spring Break. I am going into my last week of 100% teaching. I can't believe that I've already been full-time teaching for 5 weeks. It doesn't seem like it has been that long at all. Which is definitely a blessing.
When I began this whole experience, I was upset. I wanted it to just be over. Everyday was filled with anguish for this. And I couldn't have been acting more selfishly if I tried. I was being completely ridiculous. And arrogant, as if I already knew everything I needed to know and was above learning anything new.
Now that I've been doing this for 9 weeks, I can honestly say that I have had a lot of ups and downs throughout this whole experience. But what I've been able to take away from this experience is that I have more learning to do. And by that, I mean my whole life. I've been able to experience a lot of challenges throughout my teaching. I realize that I am a good teacher, after worrying that I wasn't. But I've also learned that there are a few things I need to work on to improve my teaching, and I'm actually excited about that now. I'm glad that I don't know everything, and I'm excited to work on these things and improve them.
This whole experience has revitalized my desire to teach. These children are my life, and I am their gateway to success, on multiple levels. And I like having that kind of responsibility.
I'm going into my 9th week of student teaching. There are 16 weeks total, and actually only 15 weeks of actual teaching because of Spring Break. I am going into my last week of 100% teaching. I can't believe that I've already been full-time teaching for 5 weeks. It doesn't seem like it has been that long at all. Which is definitely a blessing.
When I began this whole experience, I was upset. I wanted it to just be over. Everyday was filled with anguish for this. And I couldn't have been acting more selfishly if I tried. I was being completely ridiculous. And arrogant, as if I already knew everything I needed to know and was above learning anything new.
Now that I've been doing this for 9 weeks, I can honestly say that I have had a lot of ups and downs throughout this whole experience. But what I've been able to take away from this experience is that I have more learning to do. And by that, I mean my whole life. I've been able to experience a lot of challenges throughout my teaching. I realize that I am a good teacher, after worrying that I wasn't. But I've also learned that there are a few things I need to work on to improve my teaching, and I'm actually excited about that now. I'm glad that I don't know everything, and I'm excited to work on these things and improve them.
This whole experience has revitalized my desire to teach. These children are my life, and I am their gateway to success, on multiple levels. And I like having that kind of responsibility.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Pushing through
I love reading quotes sometimes. I have an app on my blackberry called Daily Quotes, so each new day, I receive or view a new quote. Since today is a Saturday and I'm not teaching, I am afforded the luxury of time. And I chose to spend my time this morning going through quotes. I found some of particular interest and would like to share them with you:
"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it"-Bill Cosby
"Ordinary riches can be stolen. Real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."- Oscar Wilde
"No matter what parents do, kids retain their uniqueness."-Kirstie Alley
"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends."-Japanese Proverb
"It always seems impossible until it's done."
I wanted to post these quotes not just to encourage you, but to encourage myself. Two weeks ago, I began student teaching at Alexander D. Henderson University School for my final college stint. I was nervous beyond belief, which is very unlike me. But this is an incredibly important experience, and I realized that, so I think I freaked myself out a bit. But I also think that it was because I knew that my heart did not want this, and it was fighting against me. And I didn't like that because I knew that would hurt me in the end.
The first week went by, and I started to relax a little bit more. But I was still not fully into it, and I hated that. I don't know why we block ourselves off from these experiences by building walls instead of bridges. I suppose it is just part of our selfish, sinful nature. But I knew that I was hurting myself by doing this. In the past, I would have become best friends with these students by now, and I would have been loving where I was at and what I was doing. And even though I felt better about the situation at this point, I knew my heart still needed to let go.
The second week proved to be even more successful than the first week. I began to loosen up, let go, and allow my heart to enjoy and appreciate the experience here that God is given me. There is no less amount of work that I'm going to have to do at this point, only more, but one night while driving (this is apparently the most important part of my day for it is when God allows me to really see Him and reveal His glory and splendor to me) I just got it. You know when you just understand everything in that moment? That was it.
I don't want to start teaching 100%, take control of the classroom. I don't, and I can't help that. I'm nervous. But now, I don't look at it as a death sentence. I look at it as my opportunity to grow as an educator, as a human being. I can be flawed up there and it is OK! I'm not expected to be perfect. This isn't something horrible, but something wonderful!
And so that is where I am right now. And God is constantly working on my heart each new day, and at this point, I'm ready to put more effort into this experience. I want to leave that school having impacted the lives of each person and student I am fortunate enough to come into contact with. I want to step outside the box, get out of my comfort zone, get out of my own way and MAKE this a great experience. God has already promised me glory and riches and love and life beyond imagination, so why would I hold back from making every single day that I have breath in my lungs anything but extraordinary?!
On Wednesday, when I take over social studies and language arts, I'm going to make sure that those kids know I love them, know I care about them, and show them that this is going to be an amazing experience. And I need to do that not only for them, but for myself as well.
"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it"-Bill Cosby
"Ordinary riches can be stolen. Real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."- Oscar Wilde
"No matter what parents do, kids retain their uniqueness."-Kirstie Alley
"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends."-Japanese Proverb
"It always seems impossible until it's done."
I wanted to post these quotes not just to encourage you, but to encourage myself. Two weeks ago, I began student teaching at Alexander D. Henderson University School for my final college stint. I was nervous beyond belief, which is very unlike me. But this is an incredibly important experience, and I realized that, so I think I freaked myself out a bit. But I also think that it was because I knew that my heart did not want this, and it was fighting against me. And I didn't like that because I knew that would hurt me in the end.
The first week went by, and I started to relax a little bit more. But I was still not fully into it, and I hated that. I don't know why we block ourselves off from these experiences by building walls instead of bridges. I suppose it is just part of our selfish, sinful nature. But I knew that I was hurting myself by doing this. In the past, I would have become best friends with these students by now, and I would have been loving where I was at and what I was doing. And even though I felt better about the situation at this point, I knew my heart still needed to let go.
The second week proved to be even more successful than the first week. I began to loosen up, let go, and allow my heart to enjoy and appreciate the experience here that God is given me. There is no less amount of work that I'm going to have to do at this point, only more, but one night while driving (this is apparently the most important part of my day for it is when God allows me to really see Him and reveal His glory and splendor to me) I just got it. You know when you just understand everything in that moment? That was it.
I don't want to start teaching 100%, take control of the classroom. I don't, and I can't help that. I'm nervous. But now, I don't look at it as a death sentence. I look at it as my opportunity to grow as an educator, as a human being. I can be flawed up there and it is OK! I'm not expected to be perfect. This isn't something horrible, but something wonderful!
And so that is where I am right now. And God is constantly working on my heart each new day, and at this point, I'm ready to put more effort into this experience. I want to leave that school having impacted the lives of each person and student I am fortunate enough to come into contact with. I want to step outside the box, get out of my comfort zone, get out of my own way and MAKE this a great experience. God has already promised me glory and riches and love and life beyond imagination, so why would I hold back from making every single day that I have breath in my lungs anything but extraordinary?!
On Wednesday, when I take over social studies and language arts, I'm going to make sure that those kids know I love them, know I care about them, and show them that this is going to be an amazing experience. And I need to do that not only for them, but for myself as well.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Love is not an episode of Hoarders
We all have those guilty pleasures. Most of them in my group of friends involve tv shows. Spongebob Squarepants, Will and Grace, Golden Girls….Hoarders. Hoarders is a guilty pleasure of mine. I hate the show because I find it to be completely repulsive that people could ever let things get that bad. But I am completely enthralled that people have LET THINGS GET THAT BAD!
It’s like that accident on the side of the road. We all take a peek and slow down when we drive by, hoping that we will catch a glimpse of a dead body or a decapitated head. Don’t shoot me that sidelong glance, I’m just saying what everybody knows is what they are truly thinking when they slow down and look. I don’t know what it is, but we seem to seek after pain.
When I was in the shower tonight, I got to thinking about love. I’ve been really stressed the last week or so thinking about and starting student teaching, the holidays ending, friends going back home, life resuming to the normal sounds of labor and loss of time. And then I realized how many people in my life that make me happy to be alive.
Whenever I’m depressed or upset or dreading something, I’ve found that there are a handful of people and events that get me through, that keep me holding my head high and giving it my all to get through it, knowing that my payoff is I get to be with them again soon.
And I thought to myself, how many of these people actually know their importance in my life? Have I told them? Or have I just assumed they know? And that’s when I decided that our love should not be like an episode of hoarders. Why keep our love piled up inside, stuck away on shelves, hidden and neglected under beds and in closets? What good is all of this love doing for us in the corner of the living room underneath a pile of clothes and magazines that we don’t even know exist there?
So this post is strictly to say: I love you. Each one of you is important to me in a way that is completely unique. I know that I don’t always say it, and I realize that sometimes I don’t have the answers and I can act like a complete jerk. But I love you. And sometimes, those are the three saddest words I can say to you, because I think about being departed from you at some point in my life for some period of time, and it throws me into a deep depression.
You are my heart and my soul and my strength. Everyday I am alive, I am thankful, and it has a lot to do with each and every one of you. Thank you for being my comfort when I was hurt. Thank you for watching over me when I’m sick. Thank you for being home when I’ve had a bad day or am stressed. Thank you for listening when you don’t want to. Thank you for being exactly who you are. I love you now, I’ve loved you before, and I’ll love you until the breath is taken from my lungs.
Paul, Christina, Holly, Lindsey, Mom, Dad, Sarah, Margrit, Brooke.
It’s like that accident on the side of the road. We all take a peek and slow down when we drive by, hoping that we will catch a glimpse of a dead body or a decapitated head. Don’t shoot me that sidelong glance, I’m just saying what everybody knows is what they are truly thinking when they slow down and look. I don’t know what it is, but we seem to seek after pain.
When I was in the shower tonight, I got to thinking about love. I’ve been really stressed the last week or so thinking about and starting student teaching, the holidays ending, friends going back home, life resuming to the normal sounds of labor and loss of time. And then I realized how many people in my life that make me happy to be alive.
Whenever I’m depressed or upset or dreading something, I’ve found that there are a handful of people and events that get me through, that keep me holding my head high and giving it my all to get through it, knowing that my payoff is I get to be with them again soon.
And I thought to myself, how many of these people actually know their importance in my life? Have I told them? Or have I just assumed they know? And that’s when I decided that our love should not be like an episode of hoarders. Why keep our love piled up inside, stuck away on shelves, hidden and neglected under beds and in closets? What good is all of this love doing for us in the corner of the living room underneath a pile of clothes and magazines that we don’t even know exist there?
So this post is strictly to say: I love you. Each one of you is important to me in a way that is completely unique. I know that I don’t always say it, and I realize that sometimes I don’t have the answers and I can act like a complete jerk. But I love you. And sometimes, those are the three saddest words I can say to you, because I think about being departed from you at some point in my life for some period of time, and it throws me into a deep depression.
You are my heart and my soul and my strength. Everyday I am alive, I am thankful, and it has a lot to do with each and every one of you. Thank you for being my comfort when I was hurt. Thank you for watching over me when I’m sick. Thank you for being home when I’ve had a bad day or am stressed. Thank you for listening when you don’t want to. Thank you for being exactly who you are. I love you now, I’ve loved you before, and I’ll love you until the breath is taken from my lungs.
Paul, Christina, Holly, Lindsey, Mom, Dad, Sarah, Margrit, Brooke.
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