I know.

Throughout our lives, we are running a marathon. Sometimes we forget to slow down and take a break, so we miss a few things along the way. If we are lucky, we get to run the marathon in a loop so that we have the opportunity to see things again and really take notice of them. Learn to slow down.
We all possess a gift. And we are always searching for it. I have searched for many years for my gift. What will I do with my life? How will I make a living? What am I going to school for? Is this really what I want to do? Am I going to do this for the next 50 years? And I've searched for the answers to those questions so many times.
Today, and many times in the past, I have found those answers. But not without effort. Not without failures and success. Not without hardships. Not without following another path for awhile. Not without help.
Today, I went to visit the after care kids and staff at Advent Lutheran School where I worked for two years. I haven't seen those kids since August 2010. So, about...7 months now. And I decided today was the day to visit. To see everyone.
I didn't see everyone because I didn't get there until 4:15pm and they were doing homework and I was talking with Rhonda. But I saw some of them. And that was enough.
What impacted me the most was when two 5th grade boys saw me, their faces lit up, they ran up to me, squeezed tight, and told me how much they had missed me. They kept talking about how they wished I was still there, that they wanted to be at the school where I was teaching so they could be in my class, and things like that.
I can't begin, I can't even touch on how that made me feel. There are so many times in our lives when we feel like what we are doing with our lives is a waste. Like we need to be doing more. We get discouraged so easily and burnt out by all the responsibilities that we have in life that we start to second guess our impact in this world.
Today, those two boys reminded me why I got into education in the first place. I have had so many trials, so many hard times, so many moments of weakness and of discouragement that it has made me want to just begin another career and not even go into education. But today, I couldn't imagine doing anything else for the rest of my life.
No matter how much I may think I am not impacting these kids because every lesson isn't fun or I have to yell at them sometimes or we go on break or hit moments where we are just done, these kids need me, and I need them. They are impacted by me every day that I am with them, and even when I'm not. And vice versa.
Please, don't second guess yourself. What you do makes a difference to someone, and I guarantee someone has made a difference to you. We all have a purpose. We all have a plan and a reason for existing, even when we think we couldn't possibly matter to anyone. We do.
Children are my entire life and my source of happiness. I love every moment that I get to spend in their presence. And I know they feel the same about us, even if we don't always feel that way. Hold your head up high, because trust me, you matter. And that is truth.