Holidays

There are days when I feel very insignificant. These days only occur out of my sinful heart feeling the need to be selfish. But whatever the reason, I feel it. But the more God grows my heart and strengthens my love and my relationship with Him, the more I realize I never have a reason to feel this way.

Lindsey moved away and sometimes I feel like our life will never be the same without her. Like we will never have that much fun doing nothing or laugh as hard as we did while she was here. And this helps me to realize how important every person is. Sometimes we can feel sorry for ourselves or feel like we have nothing to offer to the world. The standards that the world sets makes us feel insignificant if we don't impact it in such huge, life changing way. That just isn't true.

Every person has a purpose. Sometimes it is just to make you smile. Sometimes it is to make you rethink your life and the decisions you've been making. Sometimes it is to make more seen changes, like changing the state of Haiti or Africa. But every person has a purpose, and it is fulfilled with or without us even trying. And I find that to be such an encouragement when I'm feeling down.

I've only gotten to this point by the love of my Father in heaven. And from the massive amount of downtime He has provided me for the last 4 months. I could never come to these understandings without Him pointing them out to me. And now I realize that I have a purpose, I have a reason for existing. I may not always see it or feel it, but God knows it and is carrying it out with or without my help.

My soul is comforted and on fire at these thoughts.