Memories

Memories are life to me. Memories can push us forward, or they can hold us back. It depends on how we choose to let them control us. My memories have done so much of both. They've given me the strength and courage to move ahead in life, knowing that though they are no longer present, there have always been and will always be new ones to form.
Lately, memories have been holding me back. They've been winning. They've been beating me, draining the life and desire to form new ones from me. They've been thorn bushes that are choking me. But God has released me.
I've been really sad about the memories of The Cottage. Level 5. The year spent on the hill learning and growing in love with some of the most amazing people I've been fortunate enough to come into contact with and call my makeshift family. And now we're scattered, and time isn't as available, and we're growing up, and people have left, and more people are going to leave. Inevitable. And I've been allowing those memories of the times we had, the life we shared, the adventures we partook in, to break me down. To literally tie me to the couch. To drain the existence out of my soul. But no longer.
Absolutely I'm sad those memories are now just memories. I'm devastated that Lindsey had to move away. I'm upset that Christina has to work all the time. I'm terrified that Holly is growing up and moving on. But these are all good things. And I've been allowing the sorrow of all that to take away the memories that we are making now, today, in this moment. I've realized that every moment is a memory, no matter how boring or exciting it may be.
Life and love isn't defined by the grandeur of our adventures. Life isn't about changing the world in huge ways. It is about the people we impact, and the people that impact us. It is about recognizing the moments in which we changed, in which we grew, in which we lived. Sitting on the couch watching SVU marathons is as much of a memory and life experience to ponder and smile about as is taking a month long trip through the entire European landscape. Making coffee together and watching Christmas movies, setting up the Christmas tree, hanging stockings, taking long car rides in silence, watching the sun rise on the beach together...these are all worthwhile life events. These are all things to be appreciated.
My mind likes to try to convince me to think in the big picture of life. How can I impact the world the most today, in my life? What job can I have that will prove to be the most important, the most meaningful? And the answer to those questions lies in how I'm responding to the life God has given me. I can make a bigger difference in the world, in my life and the lives of those around me, by seeing the BIG things in the little things. The man that rings a bell at Christmas time. Taking the time to thank him for his contributions. Showing him, verbally and genuinely, that I appreciate what he does, that it didn't go unnoticed. THOSE are the moments to live by, those are the things that change the world, those are the qualities that God is after.